Battle of the Intra-body

H'in Fluen Zae looked westward towards the pooling dusk of friday eve with its masses of post labour bronchioles exciting the cooling air with their steaming breath. This of course was no mean feat for a nonmotile gram-negative facultatively anaerobic rod bacteria but his apparent sentience and gender specific title concerned H'in Fluen Zae less than his desire to find a warm alveoli which could ensure his survival.

H'in Fluen Zae shown lounging within a circular alternative universe

As luck would have it, his rising desire was met by the warm touch and salty countenance of a human hand which unknowingly plucked him from his airborne state and with a simple wiping movement deposited him upon some unknown lip. Now if only he could free himself long enough to be breathed he would fight the crack troops known as the Flying Fighting Antibodies until he expired or was allowed to create of colony of his very own. As H'in Fluen Zae struggled from the salival muck he felt a movement. "Damn" he thought, "It's Pharynx and Eso Phagus. Their mystic powers of Peristaltic Contraction Wave will transport me to the death realms of the Gastric Epithelium."

Upon entering the death realms H'in Fluen Zae was surprised to see an unusual occurance. A particularly low level of death. Apparently today was the annual Hydrochloric Acid and Enzyme picnic and as the trainees and the disliked who had been left to start the process of denaturation attacked him he found his resistance and confidence growing.

H'in Fluen Zae fought hard. He believed many times he would succumb even to these low levels of acidity but after what seemed like hours of furious endeavour his bravery was rewarded. Rising before him was Pylorus the guardian of the mythic tri-levelled sanctuary.

"You may enter" claimed Pylorus, "but first you, Haemophilus, must answer these questions three. How are you?".

H'in Fluen Zae chuckled, "that's only one question but I seem to be doing alright. Quite lucky really".

Pylorus grew in anger, "I'm part of the intestinal tract not an Abacus you smart arse nonmotile gram-negative facultatively anaerobic rod bacteria!"

At the mention of the magic word 'Abacus', and much to Pylorus' and H'in Fluen Zae surprise, Pylorus suddenly relaxed and admitted H'in Fluen Zae to the watery realms of the Duodenum, Jejunum and the Ileum.

Pylorus has always been relaxed by the severed heads of beauty queens, flowers, and the Funkyard.

H'in Fluen Zae exalted for he had survived against all odds. Here in this paradise he could relax at his leisure, combine with with the warm soup of watery pre-digested food stuffs, and be absorbed slowly by the ever adpative Villi. There he knew he would be transported to where he could cause more damage than his wildest dreams could have imagined... Rena-land.

Tune in next time as H'in Fluen Zae finds sanctuary in Rena-land until he is forced to use all his Kung-Fu skills when tracked down by the Mighty 3.