8/21/2006

Battle of the Intra-body

H'in Fluen Zae looked westward towards the pooling dusk of friday eve with its masses of post labour bronchioles exciting the cooling air with their steaming breath. This of course was no mean feat for a nonmotile gram-negative facultatively anaerobic rod bacteria but his apparent sentience and gender specific title concerned H'in Fluen Zae less than his desire to find a warm alveoli which could ensure his survival.


H'in Fluen Zae shown lounging within a circular alternative universe

As luck would have it, his rising desire was met by the warm touch and salty countenance of a human hand which unknowingly plucked him from his airborne state and with a simple wiping movement deposited him upon some unknown lip. Now if only he could free himself long enough to be breathed he would fight the crack troops known as the Flying Fighting Antibodies until he expired or was allowed to create of colony of his very own. As H'in Fluen Zae struggled from the salival muck he felt a movement. "Damn" he thought, "It's Pharynx and Eso Phagus. Their mystic powers of Peristaltic Contraction Wave will transport me to the death realms of the Gastric Epithelium."

Upon entering the death realms H'in Fluen Zae was surprised to see an unusual occurance. A particularly low level of death. Apparently today was the annual Hydrochloric Acid and Enzyme picnic and as the trainees and the disliked who had been left to start the process of denaturation attacked him he found his resistance and confidence growing.

H'in Fluen Zae fought hard. He believed many times he would succumb even to these low levels of acidity but after what seemed like hours of furious endeavour his bravery was rewarded. Rising before him was Pylorus the guardian of the mythic tri-levelled sanctuary.

"You may enter" claimed Pylorus, "but first you, Haemophilus, must answer these questions three. How are you?".

H'in Fluen Zae chuckled, "that's only one question but I seem to be doing alright. Quite lucky really".

Pylorus grew in anger, "I'm part of the intestinal tract not an Abacus you smart arse nonmotile gram-negative facultatively anaerobic rod bacteria!"

At the mention of the magic word 'Abacus', and much to Pylorus' and H'in Fluen Zae surprise, Pylorus suddenly relaxed and admitted H'in Fluen Zae to the watery realms of the Duodenum, Jejunum and the Ileum.

Pylorus has always been relaxed by the severed heads of beauty queens, flowers, and the Funkyard.

H'in Fluen Zae exalted for he had survived against all odds. Here in this paradise he could relax at his leisure, combine with with the warm soup of watery pre-digested food stuffs, and be absorbed slowly by the ever adpative Villi. There he knew he would be transported to where he could cause more damage than his wildest dreams could have imagined... Rena-land.

Tune in next time as H'in Fluen Zae finds sanctuary in Rena-land until he is forced to use all his Kung-Fu skills when tracked down by the Mighty 3.

Take: 18

Blogger L>T mused...

oh, so that's what you've been up to. Very entertaining. it almost makes me want to get the flu. Life is boring me lately.

Mon Aug 21, 02:08:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ha! Yeah L>t, very entertaining ;)

I can handle the flu. Cough, cough, mucous... bla, bla, bla! At least I could have had a nice relax at home with a panadol or two and a cup of honey-lemon tea. I somehow ingested a very common flu bacteria which evaded all my bodies defences and ended up in my Kidney's. What happened then... tune in next time.

Mon Aug 21, 02:55:00 pm

 
Blogger pal mused...

These flu bugs are getting really nasty - over here rabbit flu is now a killer!

Thought you would like a bit of jolly reading!

Glad you are well on the mend.

Mon Aug 21, 07:21:00 pm

 
Blogger L>T mused...

I don't really want whatever it was you had, I'm sure.
One nice thing about blogging you aren't going to catch anything from anybody.

Yikes! That rabbit flu story was scary, pal. I tried raising rabbits once. I just couldn't kill the damn things! I made my son do it. The one that's in prison, now.

Mon Aug 21, 11:42:00 pm

 
Blogger ticharu mused...

I want to go to the boat party!!!!!

OK, I'm confused... did you survive? Well, I'm sure they'll come out on top eventually! Carry on then!

Mon Aug 21, 11:53:00 pm

 
Blogger Murp! mused...

My vote is for the token blonde decapitated head.

So I guess you are trying to say that you are and have been sick???

Me have hard time reading cryptic post on account of my head being all foam rubber and all.

Tue Aug 22, 01:59:00 am

 
Blogger Wendy mused...

I have read this three times and I still have no friggen clue what you are talking about. Are you insane? Has a virus eaten your brain?

Ummm, I am guessing you are sick, if so I hope you feel better soon.

Tue Aug 22, 03:55:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Hey Pal

And here I was thinking that Monty Python were joking about the killer rabbit.

Yeah, flu bugs are going crazy. That was exactly the problem I had. If people would stop taking antibiotics for the sniffles I wouldn't have gotten nearly as sick as I did.

Tue Aug 22, 10:49:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

No you really don't L>t. You know they say kidney pain is stronger than the pain of child birth. I've never had nor going to have children myself but I'm betting there's a good chance they may be right.

PS. I got a bad case of spamming once from blogging, I thought about taking something for it but now I just live with it.

Tue Aug 22, 10:54:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

So do I Tich, so do I! Unfortunately you have to be a boat to attend.

Shhh, don't tell anyone but I didn't survive.

Tue Aug 22, 10:56:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Murp!oid, that's terrible racist of you. The token wants to be judged on a level playing field not on the fact that she's part of a minority. Personally, my vote goes to top row right of centre. I don't know, I think she's terribly cute and her social platform was outstanding (world peace ya know) but maybe I just have a thing for chihuahuas.

Yeah, sick! Scary sick, but I'm kick'n it's ass now.

Tue Aug 22, 11:04:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

HA. yes. a. virus. ate. me. brain. Wendy.

It's just my illness from the perspective of the contagent.

I'm feeling much better now thank you. I did have a week and half of Wendy-Level-Pain. I hope you're doing well.

Tue Aug 22, 11:09:00 am

 
Blogger SafeTinspector mused...

Relax by Funkyard! RELAX, BABY!!!! FUNKFUNKFUNKYARD!!!!

Anthropomorphosized contagion, man, amusing but sad at the same time. Sad for the host, that is.

Tue Aug 22, 12:32:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

I'm not sure waht a Funkyard is but it did take me here.

Nah, sad for the damn bug. May have taken a while to figure out what it was (not cancer was a big Yay for me) and even longer to figure out how to kill it but in the end, well, we held a small cerimony and then flushed it down the toilet like an unwanted pet alligator.

Tue Aug 22, 01:04:00 pm

 
Blogger Bathroom Hippo mused...


Some hot babes!

I prefer the one on the bottom row just right of the center. I can see me bein' with her. I can probly attach her head to somethin.

Tue Aug 22, 11:25:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

How do you do it Bathroom Hippo? She was the only girl at the contest who didn't have an aversion to sentient african wildlife!

Mind you, she lost her body in an industrial accident whilst the rest were accidently decapitated on Safari.

Wed Aug 23, 01:19:00 pm

 
Blogger Cricket mused...

Dirty Dancing
Starred Elizabeth Shue
I'm glad you survived
Your bout with the flu...

Wed Aug 23, 02:13:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

It also featured
that sad nob Swayze
I hope you'll return
now I'm healthy

Thu Aug 24, 09:26:00 am

 

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