Changing the subject...

So I was chatting to my Vietnam born Aussie now Dutch friend the other day who is about to return with her hubbie to Oz to have their first child. Exciting! Well, probably exciting. I'm not up to speed on the whole 'seed of my loins' thing, I'm sure it's somehow enjoyable for those who really want to do it... to me they're pretty much 'crazy breeders, Breeeeeders!'. I jest, I'm very happy for them. Breeeeeders!

Anyway, so we're chatting away, 'Blah, Blah, Blah, Ultrasound, Blah, Blah, Blah, Stretch Marks, Blah, Blah, Blah... I'm actually a hell of a lot more interested than this sentence makes out...' and we started talking about drug free birthing and the idea of self hypnosis. The idea's kinda cool and I guess if it doesn't really work she'll have something to keep her drug free self occupied while another living being painfully claws it's way out from her vagina. So, being the good friend I am, the following day I decided to do a web search for 'Self Hypnosis' to try and track down something she could use.

After a good half hour I found something free and thought I'd listen to it before forwarding it on. Good idea! The initial 'relaxing' techniques were OK. Kinda reminds me of a meditation technique used in Tai-Chi except instead of subconsciously training your body to kick-ass you get to have a nice lay down. So I kicked on through to listen to the 'self hypnosis affirmations'. I expected stuff like, 'As you breathe you let go of your pain' or, 'you can kill your husband later for putting his dick in you', or whatever it is pregnant women have difficulty with when giving birth.

But no, after the usual, 'now I'm going to count backwards slowly and when I say "sleep" you will be completely relaxed and open... now sleep, blah, blah, blah 3, 2, 1', I get this, 'you are now completely relaxed, you now realise the world is abundant and you deserve to be wealthy, now amplify that feeling, like a light becoming brighter and brighter, you make the most of your life by making yourself rich, and everyone around is happy to see you rich and successful..." and it goes on like that for another 5 minutes before getting to anything to do with birthing. I mean, Bleed'n Hell, I know child rearing is expensive but that's just creepy! Especially with the low soothing voice and new-age tranquil music in the background.

Is it just me or do other people find this really Creeeepy?

On a completely unrelated topic, here's another Gif, just relax and watch the Gif for a couple of minutes...

as I count backwards from five you will feel you legs getting lighter, 5, the weightless sensation is slowly moving up your legs and into your body and head, 4, your eye lids are now becoming heavier and you are completely relaxed, 3, your breathing is becoming deeper, 2, you can no longer feel your body and you are free from the restraints from the world, 1, and sleep... NOW INVEST IN MY FILMS, SEND ME YOUR MONEY, ALL OF IT, NO, EVEN BETTER, QUACK LIKE A DUCK, HAHAHAHA, QUACK YOU BASTARDS, QUACK!!!!!

I guess it's good to look at the motivations of anything or anybody that is attempting to tap into your subconscious.