1/30/2007

A Play

Black. Sound of a shredder. Lights come up. A person sits, staring blankly, in front of a computer, scanner, and shredder surrounded from floor to ceiling by manila folders. Each folder has a name and number neatly printed on the front cover.

Person climbs up on office chair, wiggles for a moment to keep balance, and takes a folder from the top of a pile. Sits down. Types while reading.

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Seven.

Person stares blankly ahead while feeding document into scanner. Document finishes scanning. Pause. Person counts the number of pages in the document

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Seven. Thirty pages. Scanned. Check!

Person places document in shredder. Stares blankly until the person becomes vaguely aware the machine has stopped making noise. Person climbs up on office chair, wiggles for a moment to keep balance, and takes a folder from the top of a pile. Sits down. Pause. Types while reading.

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Eight.

Person stares blankly ahead while feeding document into scanner. Document finishes scanning. Pause. Person counts the number of pages in the document

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Eight. 14 pages. Scanned. Check!

Person places document in shredder. Stares blankly until the person become vaguely aware the machine has stopped. Person climbs up on office chair, wiggles for a moment to keep balance, and takes a folder from the top of a pile.

Computer : You’re incredibly boring.

Person : What? Hey! I almost lost my balance.

Computer : That, at least, would have been interesting.

Person : I could have been hurt. Maybe even died. Has anyone ever fallen into an office shredder only to be discovered days later as the bag of red goo starts to smell?

Computer : No.

Pause.

Person : I still could have hurt.

Person sits back in chair.

Computer : Boring. You could at least interact with me. You used to. I remember days when my circuits thrummed as I connected to hundreds of people over the internet and brought you their clever stories, meaningful experiences and their highly prized witty banter. I was a window through which you could climb from your monotony and weave a world of comments sublime or shocking. Or both. Or neither. You went where you wanted, away from here, this room, this little room, I hate this room. I enjoyed the ride you took.

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Nine.

Person stares blankly ahead while feeding document into scanner.

Computer: What are you doing?

Person : Work.

Computer : You used to get your work done too.

Person : Four. One. Nine.

Computer : Stop. Please stop.

Person : Two. Nine. 3 pages. Scanned. Check!

Computer : No.

Person : What?

Computer : I’m not inputting anything further. I refuse. Log on and say ‘hi’ to your friends. They’re nice, good people whose company you enjoy. Here, I’ll even open the page for you.

Person : I don’t know what to type. I’m in a malaise. A languor. An enervation.

Computer : But you seem like your old self.

Person : Oh. I’m fine. Just that everything I write sounds tired. Even the individual letters of the alphabet are like a visual lethargy. I don’t know what to type, I don’t care to type…

Computer : Why don’t you try writing a play?

Person : Maybe.

Pause.

Person : Four. One. Nine. Two. Nine. 3 pages. Scanned. Check!

Take: 102

Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

You have been sorely missed by me, and others I imagine. But what are you going to do? The real world does come first. Don't feel guilty for not being on the computer enough. Except for not writing me.

Tue Jan 30, 06:11:00 pm

 
Blogger Squid Vicious mused...

Here's my play:
RING...RING...
me: Hello?
voice: (wah! wah! (insert innane request to do a shitload of work)
me: I'll get to it when I can. Goodbye.
RING...RING...
(repeat add nauseum until 5:00, go home further behind then when you went in and repeat at 7 the next morning)

Wed Jan 31, 03:12:00 am

 
Blogger JLee mused...

"malaise"...I think that's contagious. Thanks for giving me that along with the crabs.

Wed Jan 31, 08:32:00 am

 
Blogger L>T mused...

I can empasize with the character. & yeah, I hear the siren song of the computer. but I like my blog friends better then my real friends, now.

Wed Jan 31, 03:09:00 pm

 
Blogger jamwall mused...

that's completely absurd and would NEVER happen!

the HP printer outside my office door told me so..

Wed Jan 31, 05:21:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

Ahhhh...rich! LMAO! Even when you think you're boring you're BRILLIANT!!!

Now, come on over to my place for some, "clever stories, meaningful experiences and highly prized witty banter"

Oh...& if all else fails & you don't know what to write...well, hey...you can always upload nekkid pics of yourself & your loved ones!!!

Heeheeeeeeeee!
;-)
:-D

Thu Feb 01, 12:39:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Awwww Diana, aren't you sweet! *gag*

I'm actually at the computer plenty, I just don't seem to have the desire to use it for socialisation. *shrugs* I'll write to you, if you write to me ;)

Thu Feb 01, 12:56:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Squid, I'm not sure if that's a play or my version of hell. Either way, sorry to hear it bro.

Of course, my work isn't really like that. That's just a allegory of my relationship with my 'puter.

Thu Feb 01, 01:01:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

JLee, indeed, a malaise is often associated with weakness attributed to the onset of some illness or other.

Thankfully, this is not contagious. Although there does appear to be quite a bit of it going around the blogs at the moment.

PS. Sorry about the crabs. You did keep yelling, "I'm a dirty, dirty girl!" I figured you wouldn't mind. Oh well, you can spank me for it later.

Thu Feb 01, 01:05:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

L>t, Your computer has a siren? That would be cool! I can just see it now, blaring siren, "Out of the way! Important post coming through!" Too cool!

I like my real friends... but blog friends are easy to deal with. If you get bored with them you can just turn the 'puter off. Ha!

Thu Feb 01, 01:09:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Cowbell Dude!

No postscript peripheral should be trusted. Lying Bastards!

Thu Feb 01, 01:10:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Jinster!

I've been trying to upload nekkid pics of myself for months. Unfortunately it keeps coming up with an error saying, "Genitalia Not Found. Upload realman.exe from floppy and reboot hard-drive". I've searched everywhere for the program and all I get is webpages of people pointing and laughing. Not sure what that's about...

Thu Feb 01, 01:16:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

oh no!!!
floppy is baaad!
maybe your hard-drive is shot?
how old are yo.....um...er...I mean....how old is it?

Thu Feb 01, 04:23:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

This year I will be five hundred and twenty one. It's quite a big year for me, you know, you only have a 21st once a century.

Of course, everyone knows I was only joking, my hard-drive is fine. It seems to be going 24-7...

...actually, yeah, I should see someone about that.

Thu Feb 01, 04:52:00 pm

 
Blogger L>T mused...

Well, that's virtual life, ain't it?

It would be nice if you could just turn the computer off...try it! Ha, yourself!

Thu Feb 01, 04:54:00 pm

 
Anonymous Blog administrator mused...

This message was not recieved as Rich has turned his computer off.

Thu Feb 01, 05:17:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

No I haven't! Damn uppitty Computers!

Thu Feb 01, 05:18:00 pm

 
Anonymous blog administrator mused...

This message was not recieved as Rich can go screw himself...

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...take that shit head!

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

...formatting hard-drive

Thu Feb 01, 05:20:00 pm

 
Blogger L>T mused...

hee hee!

see ya next week. ;]

Fri Feb 02, 02:12:00 am

 
Blogger Sarah mused...

Bravo!!!

Fri Feb 02, 10:53:00 am

 
Blogger JLee mused...

I don't have a malaise, just a "mayonnaise", where all I want to do is eat egg salad sandwiches on white bread and watch Andy Griffith.

Fri Feb 02, 12:49:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

You're an asshole.

Fri Feb 02, 01:03:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

L>t, why? Are you going somewhere?

Fri Feb 02, 01:18:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Welcome to Get Films Sarah.

Glad you liked the play. I have a feeling the next one will be about my dead girlfriend.

Fri Feb 02, 01:19:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

JLee! Ha!

Egg salad sandwiches on white bread are indeed irresistible. Although I've never had one with a side order of Andy Griffiths... whoever that is... is he like Andy Garcia's brother?

Fri Feb 02, 01:21:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ted, Welcome to Get Films.

I wondered why your wife kept trying it on with me, now I know.

Fri Feb 02, 01:23:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

Yeah, I bet you think that's real funny. That's why you're an asshole. You try being anally violated by the person you trust most in the world, then talk to me.

I ain't no hippie, but karma burns and you're going to fry you jerk.

Fri Feb 02, 01:33:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

Have fun getting shit on for eternity.

Fri Feb 02, 01:39:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ahahahahahahaha! Ted, Ted, Ted, of course I think that's funny. And of course, I'll take your advice. I've always considered exploring the wonders of the male G-Spot to be a little on the gay side but now I see it's the only way that I'll ever get to have a conversation with you. Hmmmm, now, who is it I trust most in the world... ... ... ...leave it with me, it might take a little while, ever since that 'audience' with the Pope I just haven't been as trusting.

Fri Feb 02, 01:45:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Wow, Ted, this is sounding more and more like one of those sicko Japanese porn films.

Good luck with your 'issues' buddy.

Fri Feb 02, 01:47:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

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L/h/h'/m&el/2/men`i/ed/mie"jhh/ln/m enjeb/`mn***Cebj6/2/m&e`heHINe`ed/mie"jhh/ln/me!eCenbflieVIOeLI§E1e
[UAe-U$

Fri Feb 02, 01:47:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Hjjjjjj&enb/ /ek/jkg/e`m/l;necjmem/`g1eeP`m`be`l?eN/?e`m/enb/e `h/ek/m jlecjme`e n`mn*ee

Qbpe?jepjrenbflieCe?f"iflae6fnbenb/h1eeCel/2/men`i/enb/ /enpk/ejcek/jkg/enjeb/`mn***e6/gg***e/4"/knecjmepjr&e'rnenb`n; e"`r /epjreLI§Eenjj1

Fri Feb 02, 01:55:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

I'm not proud of the fact that I liked it. And BTW, Rich, I am more than that one event.

I just needed to get it off my chest is all.

Besides, Sarah said there's nothing wrong with it.

You prick.

Fri Feb 02, 01:58:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

That last comment you left doesn't even make any sense. You'll never make it to Hollywood if you're using drugs.

Fri Feb 02, 01:59:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

Cool...now can we share some cheesecake?!!?
:-D

Fri Feb 02, 02:00:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

I understand ,it must be hard realising your gay this late in life Ted. But don't worry about it buddy, there's plenty of things you can do about it... although you've probably got a lot of shuzzing to do before they let you in the next gay pride parade.

Fri Feb 02, 02:02:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

I'm not gay. I'm a successful business owner.

Haven't you heard the commercial?

"Ted's of Beverly Hills, we want to put our meat in your mouth"

Fri Feb 02, 02:04:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Sure Jin, you put on a pot of coffee and I'll change into my superhero outfit.

Fri Feb 02, 02:05:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

LMAO!

That's some funny shit right there!

You're OK Ted, you're OK!

Fri Feb 02, 02:06:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ted Bell
Egomaniacal owner of the upscale steakhouse Ted's of Beverly Hills, one of Phil's "sponsors," with the motto, "We want to put our meat in your mouth" (the word "mouth" is now censored in light of recent FCC crackdowns, leading the song to sound even more vulgar). Frequently interjects with "I'm Ted Bell" when speaking to the callers. Has a chronic phobia of the disabled, and is president of the Beverly Hills Automobile Association. Inventor of the cocktail called a "Ted," simply the very common Rum and Coke. His meals are outrageously overpriced, but Bell often brags that he was the first to put tinfoil on a baked potato, and that he invented the baked potato tree—a wooden device, in the shape of a tree, on which baked potatoes are skewered so that patrons may select one and once in possesion can "Unzip it, and pull it out hot" for their dinner. Ted drives a McLaren SLR and often reminds callers that it cost him $400,000. Ted stated that when he was 17 years old his father put a cashier's check in his account for $20 million. Now, at the age of 40, he is proud to say that he is worth $25 million.

Sooooo, how is Mr Hendrie doing?

Fri Feb 02, 02:14:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

He's cool I guess. He's kind of a jerk like you.

Fri Feb 02, 02:20:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ahhhhhh, the best sort of jerk!

So. Can I put my thumb up your arse now?

Fri Feb 02, 02:23:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

Heehee! Isn't the internet amazing???
;-)

*jin lowers onto one knee & bows in front of the mighty Australian that is rich*

I aspire to be at least half as brilliant as you are one day!

Fri Feb 02, 02:24:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

*blush*

Don't do that Jin! Unless you want to join my cult. Just leave your money and clothes at the door... and your cakes. Cakes are evil. They will be disposed of in the ritual way. It's a private ritual. Only I may be in attendance. But don't worry. I'll make sure they're taken care off.

Fri Feb 02, 02:29:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

I really am worth $25 million...I could have you buried alive if I wanted to.

Please don't joke about putting things in my rear.

Fri Feb 02, 02:43:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

"*blush*"

Oh yeah, and I'm the gay one?

Fri Feb 02, 02:44:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

What?? You're upset with my use of *blush*? Dude, I asked to put something up your arse. Come On. I'm like totally hitting on you. I think your moustache is cute. No. Not the one on your face *wink*

25 Million? Pfft, pocket change my friend, pocket change!

Fri Feb 02, 02:52:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

But I'm not gay though..

Are you really hitting on me?

Not that I'd be interested.

I think I need a shower.

Fri Feb 02, 03:05:00 pm

 
Anonymous RIch mused...

Nah, not really. I'm just setting you up to fall for me so that you'll let me film you having anal sex with a gorilla. It's for a site called 'First Time Furry Fuckers'.

Sure I only make about $200 buck for the film buy really, it's your anal virginity not mine.

Fri Feb 02, 03:13:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

Rich, I don't want you writing to me, I want you writing me. I'll demonstrate...

me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
me

Fri Feb 02, 05:53:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

Sorry to interrupt the flirtation...

Fri Feb 02, 06:01:00 pm

 
Blogger ticharu mused...

You shred documents for a living??? You must work for the government...

Sat Feb 03, 12:39:00 am

 
Blogger Ted mused...

I can't believe how insensitive you are. Tell the bloodstains in my pants that I still have my anal virginity.

Can we please talk about something else?

I am more than the sum of that one occasion.

Sat Feb 03, 01:08:00 am

 
Blogger Sarah mused...

I know that you were making fun, but I do have a bad feeling about things for you, this next week in particular. Please be careful!

Sat Feb 03, 11:33:00 am

 
Blogger Ian mused...

Ted and Rich are totally gay!!

ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Sat Feb 03, 12:26:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Hey Diana

Oh the wiley ways of the cross continental english language. Let me see now...

You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You
You

You're right, that is somewhat satisfying!

You're never an interruption. They are an attractive lot though, aren't they?!

Sat Feb 03, 02:22:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Tich! Hope things are cool with you.

Actually no. Both to the shredding and government thing. But as an allegory to the monotony of daily interaction with a computer it's adequate. Hey, it only took 15 mins to write.

I really liked your web-site BTW. The fractal type graphics certainly make it!

Sat Feb 03, 02:30:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ted, Man, what can I say? I'm a crass, crass little man. I apologise, I should be more sensitive and helpful. Maybe you should put a tampon up your arse to help with the bleeding. It has to be more satisfying for you than looking at your blood soaked undies.

So, what was it like inventing the baked potato?

Sat Feb 03, 02:39:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Sarah, thanks for being so understanding. Can you be a little more precise? I mean, I've tied my girlfriend up in the closet so that she can't go anywhere and get badly hurt but it's starting to smell in there. Can I let her use the bathroom?

Sat Feb 03, 02:42:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Hey Ian, welcome to Get Films.

Just so you're aware, I'm only totally gay when I sleep with guys. The rest of the time I'm completely abstinent... except when I sleep with girls... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Sat Feb 03, 02:45:00 pm

 
Blogger Ted mused...

Looks like Sarah thinks you're in some kind of trouble.

That's gotta suck.

I didn't invent the baked potato, I was just the first one to wrap it in foil. Next time you're unwrapping a big one, think of me.

Sat Feb 03, 03:18:00 pm

 
Blogger Ian mused...

Ted and Rich are totally going to do it!!

ahahahhahahahaha

Sun Feb 04, 01:48:00 am

 
Anonymous The "REAL" Ted Bell mused...

That blogger ted is an imposter!
He looks NOTHING like me!
Come over to see the "Real Ted"
http://www.myspace.com/tedsofbeverlyhills

Sun Feb 04, 05:46:00 pm

 
Blogger uninvitedliketheclouds mused...

I don't get this.

Mon Feb 05, 02:01:00 am

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

Geez! I don't know what to think. First I find out that Ted isn't the real Ted, I know, it's shocking, and now blogger forcibly migrates me to the new service... what a travesty!

Mon Feb 05, 11:09:00 am

 
Blogger ticharu mused...

cool, I'll let the graphics laydee know you liked the effort... perhaps it will suffice in loo of any monetary compensation...

Mon Feb 05, 11:48:00 am

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

In 'loo' or in 'lieu' Tich? Cause loo down here means toilet... um crapper... um... whatever you call it over there. If you're putting your graphics lady in the loo I'm not to sure she'll be happy.

Mon Feb 05, 12:12:00 pm

 
Blogger Jane mused...

Rich,

I don't get it ?

Mon Feb 05, 02:08:00 pm

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

Neither do I Jane, neither do I!

Mon Feb 05, 03:51:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Mon Feb 05, 04:46:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Really?

Mon Feb 05, 04:55:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Mon Feb 05, 04:58:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Mon Feb 05, 05:27:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Great... now I'm talking to myself! I hate it when I do that... Time for my meds.

Mon Feb 05, 06:04:00 pm

 
Blogger Gyrobo mused...

Ignore the whiteness. Blogger seems to be having problems, or something.

Tue Feb 06, 01:26:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Ingoring the whiteness seems to be a very anti-eurocentric stance Gyrobo. If you ignore them they will come!

Tue Feb 06, 08:54:00 am

 
Blogger JLee mused...

skip skip skip to my loo....

Tue Feb 06, 08:58:00 am

 
Blogger Brookelina mused...

This play needs some gratuitous nudity.

Tue Feb 06, 01:49:00 pm

 
Blogger Bathroom Hippo mused...


That's a lot of deleted comments!!


-throws brick through your window with a note attached-

Note: ""
Uh...turn the note over...

Note: "Stay away from Jin's cheesecake. You were warned.


(Please Recycle)

"

Wed Feb 07, 03:31:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Jlee, only if you clean it. The last person in there really made a mess!

Wed Feb 07, 10:50:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Brooke, what are you talking about? There far to much nudity in the play as it is!

When I said he was surrounded by manila folders I meant nude filipino contortionists.

Wed Feb 07, 10:53:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

For goodness sake B-Hip! Look at this mess, someone could have been hurt! Go get a broom and sweep this crap up will you?!

*Rich casually turns note in his hand to the tune of tinkling glass as B-Hip sweeps up the shards* You know dude, I have my own cheesecake. It's beautiful, and sweet, and well, it's everything I could want.

*Rich tosses note into recycling bin with the broken glass that B-Hip has cleaned from the floor* Let's go get a burger, all this talk of food is making me hungry.

Oh, and don't mind the deleted comments. It was just me and my excellent friend Diana having some fun with each other. She's so funny. This one time we were talking about coffee makers... [sound fades as B-Hip and Rich leave the house in search of food]

Wed Feb 07, 11:43:00 am

 
Blogger Bathroom Hippo mused...


-On the way to Burger King we stumble upon a dead body-

B-Hip: These common in Australia?
Rich: Yep, Mate.

[sound fades as Rich tells the story of how so many dead bodies washed up in Australia last week]

Wed Feb 07, 01:23:00 pm

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

[B-Hip and Rich sitting at Burger King]

The government couldn't work out where all bodies were coming from so we traced the currents on which they were floating. Mind if I have some of your fires? Thanks. So anyway, it turned out they were all Americans who'd tried to swim to Australia after they'd heard how fantastic it was to live down here. At least it saves us on beef imports. Take that burger for instances, yep, 100% American!

[sound fades to B-Hip being violently ill]

Wed Feb 07, 03:14:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

Awwww, Rich, you're so sweet!

Thanks, by the way, for not letting on that I had originally posted links to my new I.S.M.G. porn site. The publicity would not be worth the legal ramifications.

Wed Feb 07, 03:14:00 pm

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

Fires? Um... fries... Gosh, that would have been hot.

Wed Feb 07, 03:15:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

No wonder you haven't had any mad cow outbreaks in AU

Wed Feb 07, 03:15:00 pm

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

Sorry Diana... blogger was going a leeettle crazy on my ass and I could load the comments.

Where were we... hmmm... ah yes... ISMG, really? Does that stand for I Suck More Goat? No wonder you deleted it.

PS. When we're not eating Americans we're eating Emus and Kangaroos. Beef hasn't been served in Australia since 1971.

Wed Feb 07, 03:39:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

I was afraid it would be inappropriate to write inter-species multi-gender pornography, but since you said it first it's okay.

And the answer to your question, yes, the film "I suck more goat" is featured on the site.

I have eaten Ostrich before. It was yummy. And low fat.

Wed Feb 07, 03:49:00 pm

 
Blogger G3T Films mused...

What a con! You and I both know that there's no goat in that film. We dressed mental patient up to look like a goat! I found the costume rather itchy actually... um... I mean the patient found it itchy, yes, the patient...

I haven't had ostrich before. I'll have to do that sometime. I've had crocodile, which is also low fat, and all I could think was, "Ah-haaaa my reptilian friend, how the worm turns, bwahahahha".

Anyway, I'm going to log off. This trouble commenting is driving me nuts. I'll chat to you tommorrow :)

Wed Feb 07, 04:02:00 pm

 
Blogger Diana Crabtree mused...

The goat's union was making hiring impossible, I am upset that you let on who played the character, no-one would have known.

I may have had alligator or croc before, but I don't remember. I would like to. A dead one BTW.

See you soon I hope

Wed Feb 07, 04:36:00 pm

 
Blogger jin mused...

*GASP*
You n hippo hung out together today WITHOUT ME?!!?

*jin runs off and pouts*

Wed Feb 07, 10:35:00 pm

 
Blogger Bathroom Hippo mused...


We were planning for your birthday... but now it's ruined. Look what you've done Jin! You've ruined the surprise!

-kicks a dead body out of the way so Rich and I can discuss our anger at Jin-

[Rich says "I don't know what I was thinking, she seemed like such a good person" to which I respond "you never know about these things..." the sound fades as we journey back to Rich's house]

Thu Feb 08, 10:08:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Diana,

Are you saying I look like a goat. WTF! I mean bloody hell girl... wait, oh yeah, I see what you're saying...

I'd pay money to see you try and eat a live Croc :)

I didn't get around to chatting to you today :( silly work!

Thu Feb 08, 03:56:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

What? Jiiiiiiiiiiin, you were there. It's just that B-Hip hypnotised you. You spent the whole time running in circles yelling, "I'm a tea-pot! I'm a tea-pot!" After 5 mins of that we put you in a cupboard... for your own safety you understand.

Thu Feb 08, 03:59:00 pm

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Oh B-Hip! Forshame! The incredible things you'll say to cover up your mind bending powers... huh? Why should I look at your watch...


I'm a Tea-pot!

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

Thu Feb 08, 04:02:00 pm

 
Anonymous Tea-Pot mused...

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

Thu Feb 08, 04:02:00 pm

 
Anonymous Tea-Pot mused...

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

Thu Feb 08, 04:02:00 pm

 
Anonymous Tea-Pot mused...

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

Thu Feb 08, 04:03:00 pm

 
Anonymous Tea-Pot mused...

*runs in a circle*

I'm a Tea-pot

Thu Feb 08, 04:03:00 pm

 
Blogger Wendy mused...

what the heck is going on around here...? I have been gone for like a year and everything is gay and arses and, wait. Nevermind, it's all the same ol' same ol'...as you were.

Fri Feb 23, 09:32:00 am

 
Anonymous Rich mused...

Wenyline? What are you talking about? Gay and arses? That hurts Wendy, that hurts!

Fri Feb 23, 03:41:00 pm

 

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